The Return Of Randy The Demonic Bunny
by The Goldfish
Summary: Remember Randy? The 'demon' bunny? Well he's back, and he's being chased by the anti-bunniers! An organazation founded by...yes you guessed it. Anya. Can he escape in time? Riley bashing. possible Angel bashing. S\B


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Disclaimer: I do not own BtVS or any of it's characters. Randy however is all mine, as are any characters that I may create in future chapters...as is spike. *several lawers appear on my doorstep* Oh all right! Spike is not my property, he belongs to….me! Okay, okay, Joss Whedon , mutant enemy etc…dammit.

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A\n: Well here it is, the promised Randy sequel. Sorry it was so long coming, I got out of the swing of writing and then I was at ff.net and I saw it and well…I just felt like finishing it. For those of you who have not read my other story it's not really necessary to understand this one. He's only in chapters 1,2,7 and very briefly in chapters 8 and 9. For those of you who have read it, It is _possible _that I will rewrite some of the history of the last on although I might not.** One thing I will definitely do is change Tara's death. **I haven't decided how she'll have died yet or even If I won't just make it so she' still alive, but Willow definitely did not do anything to kill her. I'm sorry if that bothers anybody, but I don't want to have to deal with Willow's pain at having killed Tara, which would be substantially worse that warren shooting her etc... Please don't kill me.Also, please, please, please review! I don't care what you say. Flame me whatever. Just if it's not positive, try to keep it short.

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Spoilers: Dunno. My own time frame. Sometime after my 'fleeting life of a demonic bunny' ending. But a lot of stuff is discounted. Bear with me, this is a really strange bizarre story. Oh and how could I forget to mention: The Scooby gang is still singing. The curse was never removed…to sum up: 'Do a little dance. Make a little love…' I'll let you figure the rest out.

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WARNING: I will most likely be making horrific fun of Riley and or Angel. If anyone has any objections to this…go away.

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Randolph the Second, or Randy for short. Sat in his room planning another botched attempt at taking over the world. He glanced up in annoyance as the theme song to his favorite TV show began to play. he hopped towards the TV and turned it off. Much as he loved 'Pinky and the Brain' he couldn't be distracted right now… he laughed manically, stopping abruptly as he realized it was time for Martha Stewart….he loved getting ideas from her. She had helped many times in his schemes. He liked her show for more than just it's evil undertone. He loved getting decorating ideas from her! In fact his entire house was beautifully remodeled thanks to her. He glanced around appreciatively at it, taking in the brown paper that he had plastered on his walls for a 'rustic look' as she called it, and the little pieces of wood he had nailed to his door for that 'outdoorsy' feel…she was brilliant. And right now he needed some evil inspiration. He flipped the TV back on and changed it to the right channel. Temporarily putting aside his plans for world domination.

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Meanwhile in the small town of Sunnydale, odd, odd things were happening…..

Dawn watched with interest as a bleach blonde vampire flew through the air. Buffy had started letting her patrol recently and it was turning out quite interesting. "Bloody 'ell" Spike said standing up. "What was that for slayer?" 

"You know what it was for!" she screamed "or at least you'd better."

Spike looked pleadingly at Dawn who smiled brightly at him. "Luv, I need just a teensy bit more to go no here." he said as soon as he realized Dawn wasn't going to help. She glared at him.

"You were checking her out." She yelled. Spike looked bewildered. 

"Pet" He said slowly "Who was I checking out?" Buffy snorted and he shook his head. 

"I hope your not implying the nibblet" he said, completely lost. "because I don't feel that way about Dawn." She sighed in irritation. "The vampire Spike. The one we just killed. You were totally flirting with her!"

Spike looked at her, his eyes clearly telling her he thought she'd gone bonkers. "Doesn't flirting traditionally involve the buying of coffee or exchanging of phone numbers?" he asked her again.

"Don't ask me to explain your sick, twisted methods! You were flirting!"

"No I wasn't" Spike insisted "I was driving a piece of wood through her chest."

"Yes you were." Buffy turned to Dawn "Dawnie, you saw it all. Tell him he was flirting." Dawn looked at the two of then nervously. She wanted to keep Spike out of trouble but she _really_ didn't want to get involved with a brassed of slayer. Still…she wasn't going to lie. "No, h-he was definitely not flirting. He was killing." Dawn said nervously. Buffy glared at her and she backed away, "But you know in some cultures that's a very advanced form of flirting." she amended quickly before she could piss Buffy off any more. Spike glared at her and she winced.

"Buffy you have got to get this jealousy thing under control. It can't be healthy." She was about to retort when she felt the urge to do what every one in Sunnydale seemed to be doing on a regular bases anymore…suddenly she desperately wanted to sing. Dawn and Spike looked at each other as music started to play. "Not again." Dawn moaned.

"Third time today" Spike agreed. They looked at each other again and simultaneously turned towards Buffy. "Uh Buffy?" Dawn said timidly. When the slayer didn't respond Spike sighed and walked over to her. Grabbing her by the shoulders he shook her. "We don't have time for this Luv." He said when she was finally pulled from her singing daze. "We need to patrol remember? And we have to wrap it up so you can get some sleep so that you won't get fired for steering the kiddies your supposed to advise in the wrong direction." Buffy just stared at him. 

"What are you talking about?" she asked after a moment.

"You were doing it again."

"Doing what?" she asked in mild irritation. 

"Singing Pet, you were just getting started on a right lovely song. Unfortunately we don't have time to hear it today" Buffy groaned. 

"What is it with me?" she said angrily. "Why am _I _always the one singing?"

"You _were _the one who said it 'doesn't matter' remember kitten?" Spike pointed out with a smirk.

Buffy looked at him indignantly. "I said no such thing." she sputtered.

"True," he nodded his head. "You didn't say it. You sung it."

Buffy winced as she remembered. "Oh right. I remember now."

"I believe it was right after your moving number on slaying." he continued.

"Ahhh!" She screamed "you don't know about that! Nobody does…right?"

"Nobody except me…" Dawn looked at Buffy

"What's he talking about?" she asked curiously 

"Nothing! He's talking about nothing." Buffy snapped glaring at Spike.

Dawn looked at Spike and he shook his head. "Sorry nibblet. But if I told you, the chances are good that big sis would actually do what she's been threatening for 4 years and put the stake in her hand to use."

Buffy shook her head at her creature-of-the-night boyfriend's antics. "I say we make one more round and then go home and _ sleep._" she said tiredly. Dawn nodded her head in agreement 

"I second that. Sleep would be good." 

"you're the one who wanted to patrol with me." Buffy reminded her sternly.

"I didn't know it was going to be so hard." Dawn argued.

"You haven't even begun to see hard. As of yet you've only had to deal with one apocalypse, and even then you didn't have to fight."

"Yeah I was to busy being the _sacrifice. _It's not like I was at home watching TV."

"By the time I was your age I'd already sent my boyfriend to hell."

"It was years ago, get over it."

Spike rolled his eyes and followed after the bickering sisters.

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Randy smiled in satisfaction as he finished his diagram for destroying the world. It was perfect there was no way it could fail. He nibbled on a carrot as he looked at his plans appreciatively. He had just know that Martha would help him. This was his best plan ever! He stretched and twitched his tail, wincing at the pain in his paws. He had been sitting still to long. Struggling to his feet he hopped around the room a couple of times to get the 'kinks out of his ears' as his mother used to say. 

As far as he knew he and his mother and father were the only ones of his kind. He was average sized for rabbit, and would have looked normal except for the fact that he had purple fur. And the fact he could talk. And that he liked to think up ways to destroy the world. 

Randy sighed in contentment and got ready to climb into bed. "Ah, so finally I have found the evasive Randolph!" A voice called from the doorframe. Randy turned to find a man standing there. "I am Agent Riley Finn, and I must say that you proved quite elusive. Possibly the most intelligent and difficult creature I have ever encountered." He said as he walked into the room. "But now I have you…and don't try anything. I assure you I am highly trained." Randy sighed. _Just my luck_ he thought in annoyance. _I finally come up with a way to take over the world and a weird guy with….is that a cardboard gun? It is. Why the hell is he carrying a cardboard gun?_ He looked up at Riley in amazement. _I have never encountered something as stupid as this human is._

Riley mean while was looking through the plans to take over the world. "Brilliant." He muttered "absolutely amazing. Turning all of the almost completely extinct population of Australian fish worms against humanity…the mind that thing must have to create such a plan." 

Randy smiled at the praise _at least he's smart enough to appreciate my brilliance. _he thought happily_ ah well._ and with that Randolph the bunny leaped clean out the open-and-completely-unguarded-first-floor-window into the softly padded garden below.


End file.
